Thursday, December 24, 2015

Christmas List



Christmas and Lists go together. So here’s a list I came up with to make sure you’re doing all the things you need to do this time of year.  Because it’s not really Christmas until you have…

~ Ordered Schweddy Balls from Season’s Eatings
~ Punched a cop in Bedford Falls
~ Came home with a very sparse Christmas Tree
~ Driven by an obnoxious light display
~ Argued about Christmas being about Jesus, even though there are other secular influences, but it wouldn’t be the holiday it is without the Christian beliefs.
~ Listened to elementary kids sing out of tune
~ Pulled a guy’s fake white beard
~ Fixed the knoll post
~ Contemplated your past, present and future
~ Gone sledding on those wonderful Whoville hills
~ Wished for a miracle on your street that the white-trash family would move
~ Sang along to your favorite Christmas songs
~ Discussed the fact some professional singers really don’t have the voice for some Christmas songs
~ Strung up some mess of a Christmas light display on your house
~ Watched enough stop-motion animation to give you a headache
~ Lied to your kids about Santa Claus
~ Attended a “Holiday” luncheon at work
~ Cringed at every reference to the “Nutcracker”
~ Declined the Christmas party at Nakatomi Plaza
~ Wondered if Perry Como was still making Christmas Specials
~ Put that Elf on a shelf in compromising positions
~ Prayed Krampus was real and would visit that special someone
~ Devised a plan so all your neighbors and townsfolk would rush to your house and give you lots of money on Christmas Eve
~ Shook that old sleigh bell for an hour and still couldn’t hear the ringing
~ Cussed out a store clerk who wouldn’t say Merry Christmas
~ Tried to buy a goose on Christmas morning, only to realize liquor stores were the only things open now days, so Wild Turkey would do
~ Purchased firearms for Christmas gifts despite the warnings
~ Skipped out on all invitations to New England for Christmas due to excessive dancing and singing
~ Realized you never had that magical Mistletoe moment
~ Beat the hell out of the neighbors, who you thought were breaking in while you were home by yourself
~ Skipped the Eggnog and went straight for the bottle that spiked it
~ Placed both the ‘Letter to Santa’ and the ‘Cookies’ left out for him in the same trash can
~ Emptied out the shitter
~ Yelled ‘Merry Christmas Damnit’


Thursday, February 26, 2015

Goal Setting

This is how you set a goal...

 "In rock climbing, people get strong enough and then they pick goals they can do with their strengths at that moment," Tommy Caldwell said. "This was something totally different because I picked something so far above and beyond what I could ever imagine and formatted my life to become that climber and make it happen."
Caldwell became the first to free climb the 3,000-foot face of El Capitan's Dawn Wall in Yosemite National Park, in Jan. 2015.

 Pick something out of reach and dedicate yourself, strive toward that accomplishment...whatever that goal might be. Become something better than you are right now.

Story on Tommy Caldwell's climb in the Denver Post.: Obsession with the impossible led climber Tommy Caldwell to Dawn Wall